A New Years Intention

At a recent teacher training, we discussed the 5 root causes of suffering (kleshas). You come up with a thought of something that would bring happiness (avidya), you have the misunderstanding that whatever "it" is will bring happiness (asmita), you crave it and will do anything to get it (raja), after awhile you decide "it" really isn't as great as you thought and you do anything you can to get away from it (dvesha), and then fear (abhinivesa) sets in because you can't have it.

Let's pretend my husband made my favorite triple chocolate cheesecake for me for my birthday [if you know me, you know there is no pretending here :) ]. All I could think about is diving into it later that night with my family. After the "Happy Birthday" song, I could FINALLY have a piece of that  cheesecake. "I want the biggest piece of cheesecake known to man"- I can remember saying.  My husband obliged (of course) since it was my birthday. I dove into my slice like there was no tomorrow. Mmmmmm.... About halfway through I started to feel a little queasy and decided that maybe, just maybe, the "biggest slice known to man" wasn't such a good idea but somehow I finished off the rest. Then it hit... one of the worst stomach aches that I ever felt. WHY did I eat so much of that cheesecake? I never want to eat cheesecake again. But- WAIT! What if I can't eat cheesecake ever again because it made me feel ill? What if I am allergic to cheesecake?!?!

Delusions. We all have them. We are all human. We all want to be happy.... and we are all just sure that "that thing" will bring us happiness... the cheesecake, the car, those jeans, that book got rave reviews, or those super cute shoes. Sure- they bring happiness but not for long.

Imagine if we didn't react to our delusion of what we thought would bring happiness. Imagine if we took that time to breathe instead of reacting. Imagine if we thought ahead about what our reactions would cause. Imagine if I had thought- "If I eat that huge piece of cheesecake, I am going to feel miserable" instead of just plunging ahead and giving into my desire of that huge piece of awesomeness.  

At the end of 2011, I went to great lengths to make a vision board. I was really excited about having something in my face everyday that could remind me of things I wanted to cultivate in my life during the coming year. The truth of the matter is that it didn't do the trick. Why? I was still driven by that immediate "thing" that would bring happiness.

Although vision boards can be a great tool, there is not going to be a vision board for me this year. My vision for myself this year is to live by intention in order to become a more positive version of myself. When we set an intention instead of the usual "resolution" it becomes not about what we get at the end but about the path towards bringing that intention to life. My personal intention is to move further away from delusion, to be more mindful, to breathe more, and react less. I am excited to see where this path leads and excited see what the new year will bring!

Happy New Year to you!

My vision board from 2012